It’s been some time since I’ve seen you last. I used to spend most of my time with you, always looking back. We’d reminisce about the good times and the bad. Talk about all we wished we’d had. All the things we should’ve done and the chances we would take if we had another one. From time to time I think about visiting you again.
It’s in the moments when I feel lost. When I have no idea where it is I’m supposed to be going. That’s when your memory creeps up in my mind. The “what ifs” and the “should haves,” they come on strong and I want to bring you back. I want to relive all those moments that have passed.
I catch myself though, before I call. I realize really I don’t need you at all. And it’s not because you ever did anything wrong. It’s simply because there is a reason that you are there and I am here.
You’ve already given me everything you can. You’ve taught me the things I needed to learn. Without you, I would not have met the people that I did. I would not have gone to the places that I’ve gone and I would not have the memories that I hold so dear. But everything I needed from you, I already have. Going back to you won’t do me any good. So forgive me for this, but it’s time to say goodbye. I can not spend my life always looking behind.
The mistakes I’ve made when you were near, I don’t regret. I wouldn’t be the person that I am today had I not made them with you. And for that I am stronger. So thank you for all you’ve given to me. Thank you for all you’ve been.
Deep in my heart, I’ll hold you dear and keep those memories near. Forever you have changed me and that is your greatest gift. I will think of you fondly from time to time because certainly you will always be a part of me.
But yesterday, you do not define me. You hold the power no more. You cannot change me nor can I do so to you. Today is a new day. I can’t let you stand in my way. Our journey together is over now. Our path has been laid to rest. I’m moving on, but as always, I wish you the very best.
All the Best,
The girl no longer letting the past control her future
Today marks 2 full years since I crossed the state line into North Carolina and became an official Southern Belle! Life over the past couple of years has been a whirlwind. Sometimes I take on so much stuff I forget to breathe, but it’s been exciting and adventurous and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I thought last night, as I couldn’t turn my mind off to sleep, of all the things I would say to myself two years ago if I could…. all the things that may have helped me and might help someone else who stops on by today that needs a little encouragement, a little push to get going. So, girl in the review mirror, here is what I would say to you if I could turn back time:
Put on those sunglasses darlin!
- Hearts break in life, people let us down and sometimes life does not go the way we planned it. Don’t be discouraged, bad things happen in order for even more amazing things to come along. And would we really know how amazing those things were if we had nothing to compare them to? Probably not, so don’t worry, because everything is going to be okay.
- Do you even know what you’re capable of when you have nothing holding you back? You’re about to find out. Get ready to check things of your bucket list, because over the next 2 years you’re going to spend a lot of time doing things you always wanted to do, but never thought possible. Why? Because it’s time to stop living someone else’s life. It’s time to stop being the girl you thought you were supposed to be and become the woman you know you were meant to be. Dream big and pack a pair of sunglasses because your future is looking pretty darn bright.
- Your heart will heal over time. As much as it hurts right now, all the anger, the sadness you are carrying with you, it will go away. It’s just going to take some time, but I promise you, your heart will mend. The pain will subside. If someone comes along, don’t be afraid to open yourself up to them. Give them a chance. Go out on that date and give everything you have. Remember “You never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back.”
- That heart that finally healed. The one you were finally able to put back together , well guess what? Someone else is probably gonna break it again. It’s sad I know, but it’s most likely going to happen. You are going to finally find someone worth spending your time on. Someone who makes you smile and that you think about when they’re not around. You’re laughing at me now, but you will. And it’s very very possible that the next one won’t be your prince charming. You’ll most likely have to go through a few more frogs first. So, if they choose to walk away, let them. Don’t you dare for one more second allow someone who cannot see your worth, make you feel like you’re not good enough. Because you are and when the right one comes along, all of this craziness will all make sense.
- So you made some mistakes. You can’t sit here and beat yourself up over it. Sitting here alone in your apartment wondering about all the what if’s, it isn’t going to do you any good. We create the life we imagine. You can either sit here behind this locked door, or get up, pull yourself together and get out there. Many opportunities await you. Many roads are ready for your choosing. So move it, go on, now! Start living life, enough time has been wasted.
- You are strong. So much stronger than you ever thought possible. Look at what you’ve done already! You let go of something that you knew couldn’t give you what you deserved. You put yourself first. Those tears in your eyes, do not take them as a sign of weakness. They are not. They are just washing away the memories and clearing your vision for the road ahead. Hold your head high, smile at the beauty you hold inside and take those steps forward to the life you know you’re worth.