If you’ve been hurt before, it’ll be hard, but until they give you a reason not to, have a little faith in them. Believe in your instincts. If you fell for them in the first place, they must have good in them. Give them a chance to show it.
Let Them In
All the way. Let down your walls. Put down the weapons and surrender. Be vulnerable. Let them love you. Let them make you believe in what you have. True love sees the beauty in your perfections and your flaws, but they won’t be able to see them if you keep them at arms length.
Not who you think they want you to be. You should never have to be anything other than who you are for anyone. If they don’t accept you, all of you, then you need to let them go.
Don’t Compare Them To Others
Your other relationships ended for a reason. You just weren’t compatible. Sure, there are things you might miss, but in the end, who they were wasn’t right for you. So if your new guy/girl doesn’t do things quite like the last, it’s okay.
There’s probably lots of other things they will do that the others didn’t. Things that will make you smile. Things that will make you happy. So let them be the person you fell for. There was a reason for it.
Don’t Bring Up Past Mistakes
It’s inevitable that somewhere along the line they’re going to make mistakes. So are you. If you forgive each other and move past it, let it go. It’s not to be used as ammo for later down the road.
They don’t need to keep paying for it over and over again. They served their time. They gave their apology and you accepted it. By doing that, that means it should stay where it belongs: in the past.
If I let you in
Handle me with care
It took a long time for me to get here
To trust someone else enough to fall
To open up and give my all
I won’t hold back
Don’t worry, I’m all in
I’ve waited a long time to feel this way again
I only ask for you to do the same
I cannot play anymore games
If I let you in
Know it wasn’t an easy task
So from you, here’s what I ask
Always be honest, there’s no reason to lie
I know there will be days we don’t see eye to eye
But know that even through that
I’ll never turn my back
So don’t let go when it gets tough
Hold on tight, fight for us, love will always be enough
If I let you in
I promise to do the same
Through the good and the bad
Through the thick and the thin
Let down your guard
Trust in me even when it gets hard
And in your darkest moments, hold on to me
I will be your strength, all that you need
If I let you in
There’s one last thing you’ll need to know
I’m scared as hell for this heart to break
But I know you’re worth it, so this chance I’ll take
Take me as I am, love me with all you’ve got
I’m fierce, yet fragile and perfect I am not
I will make mistakes, and there will be times I try to push you away, you’ll see
But if I let you in, promise you won’t give up on me
Let’s face it, dating at any age is difficult. Finding someone you can live with day in and day out is a challenge. But, dating at 30 sometimes can seem a bit hopeless. Everyone you know is already married, their friends are married and here you are trying to figure out where you go from here. While I can’t sprinkle pixie dust over your head and have Prince Charming magically appear I can tell you a bit of what I’ve learned for myself as I start to unravel this whole relationship thing. So here we go:
- Be comfortable with the uncomfortable: Go on a date with someone that isn’t “your type.” It’s time to step out of your box. The type of guy you normally go for clearly isn’t working for you, so take a chance, and try something different. At this point you’ve got nothing to lose.
- Uncross your arms and smile: Have you ever paid attention to the way you walk the sidewalk, sit at a bar or social event? I know I’m guilty of looking like the most miserable person ever when I’m not paying attention. That can’t make someone want to approach you. So smile, wave, uncross your arms and engage. You never know who’ll be walking by.
- Time will not change anyone: Yes, I know you like him. I know you want it to work out, but If you aren’t walking in the same direction and you don’t see the same future, cut him loose. You’ll be doing both of you a favor.
- Know Your Worth: Don’t ever settle for anything less than you deserve. There is someone out there who will balance your life. Someone who will support you, love you and listen to you. You deserve someone who makes you smile, gives you excited and adds to your life what you feel you’ve always been missing. So stop wasting time on the guys you know don’t deserve you and wait for the one who does.
- Watch for Red Flags: We are all guilty of this. Hindsight is always 20/20. We look back and we say how did I not see that? Or I should’ve known better. Look for the red flags. You’ll see them. And my advice, at the first sign of one…. Run. Don’t stick around for more. You don’t have time for that. On to the next.
Believe me, I know we all want to find someone eventually, but in the meantime enjoy your alone time. And honestly, just enjoy being you. There’s so much you can learn about yourself while your single that will make you so much more prepared for the next relationship that comes along. Spend your time doing that and the right one will come along when you’re ready.