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runner

The Runner Inside Me

My feet ache, my knees hurt, my breath is heavy and my mind is telling me it’s had enough.  The humidity is high. Sweat is covering my eyes and the breeze that I felt within my first few strides has since subsided. I take a deep breath in and then let it out, praying each time my foot hits the pavement the cramp in my side will go away. With every song that plays I wait for the voice through my headphones to tell me I’ve at least run a mile, but when I unlock my phone I’m barely at a half. “I can’t do this,” I tell myself, “not today.” But, I keep going, I don’t stop. The runner inside me is not giving up. The runner inside me will not settle for less than the 3 miles I said I would run before I started this. She knows better. She knows my body is strong enough to finish. She will not let my mind, my self doubt or my insecurities win.

The more I focus on my breathing and my stride, the quieter the voice of doubt becomes. I coast off every now and then to sing a few of the lyrics playing on my iTunes, but that cramp begins to dig deeper into my side so I go back to breathing, tightening my abs to keep it at bay. I hit two miles and am starting to feel better. It may be because my feet are numb and my legs are jell-o that I know longer feel the fatigue, but I hear the voice once again with a per minute mile faster then the last. A smile crosses my face. I’m doing it. I’m more than halfway there!

By the time the 2.5 mile marker comes the sun is much higher in the sky. It’s beating directly down on my face and shoulders and I can feel the stillness of the air much more than before. I thought New York summers were hot until I moved to North Carolina. And even though I’ll take the heat over the snow any day, all I can think of in that moment is water. I’m starting to get dizzy and the ponytail on my head is becoming heavy.

You’re almost there.”

I can hear her loud and clear. She’s pushing me with every bit of strength she has left. With each bead of sweat that is now pouring off of me, she cheers me on. She will not let me disappoint myself. She knows how badly I want this. She is my best friend and my worst enemy. She is the runner inside me.

It was not easy. Actually, it’s never easy. It’s always a battle between mind and heart every time I step out onto that open road. But, when I hit that 3 mile marker, when I could finally slow down to catch my breath, the feeling inside of me was worth it all. I can’t describe it, but I’m sure you know it well. I looked down to my phone for my pace:

Mile 1- 9:43

Mile 2- 9:33

Mile 3- 9:13

I did it. She did it. We did it. I can’t thank her enough on days like this. She pushes me harder, she keeps me going, she won’t let me give up. She has faith in me when I don’t have faith in myself. She is there exactly at the moments I need her the most and because of her I have been able to accomplish goals I never thought possible. All because she believed in me. It took me awhile to find her, but I’m so happy I did. She is the runner inside me.

 

#lovequotes #love #instaquote #instadaily #instagood #truth #heartbreak #breakup #girlquotes #quoteoftheday #wordstoliveby

To The Girl With a Broken Heart

This is a message for you

Break ups are not easy and “breaking up” with someone who was never really yours to begin with I think makes it even harder, but sometimes we just have to let go. We can no longer hold on to the things that hold us down or drain the life out of us. As a girl, I feel that we tend to hold on longer than we should because we want an explanation. A reason for why it turned out the way that it did, but the truth is sometimes you aren’t going to get an answer. And even if you do it’s most likely not going to be the one you are looking for. It’ll probably leave you with even more questions that you already have. You loved him and you gave the relationship everything you could, but for whatever reason, it just didn’t work out. In the end we all have to learn that we can’t fix people. We can’t change them and we can’t make them feel something that they don’t. If they choose to walk away from you, let them go. There is nothing more that you can do and the energy it takes to try and fight to hold on to someone who is doing everything they can to push you away is just not worth it.

SO WHAT NOW?

Here you are, sad and your heart is broken. All you really want to do is grab a gallon of Edy’s ice cream and sit in your bed and cry while watching “The Lucky One” by Nicholas Sparks.  Believe me, I’ve been there. We all have. But what good is that going to do? What satisfaction will that give you? Is he laying in his bed crying? No. Is he thinking about you right now? No. Does he miss you so bad it hurts? No. Because the harsh truth is this: if he was doing any of those things right now, he’d know where to find you.  The only thing stopping him from being with you is himself. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself while he’s out living his life, my advice to you is this:

Take that anger, that sadness, that frustration and use it. Put it into something that will help you better yourself. Use the time you have by yourself to figure out who you are, what you want and what you deserve. Know your value and what you have to offer someone. Just because the last person didn’t see it, doesn’t mean the next person won’t, but you have to see it in yourself first before anyone worthy of it can have it. So wipe away those tears right now and put that gallon of ice cream back in the freezer, put on some makeup and a cute spring outfit and pull yourself together. The next guy is out there somewhere and he’s not gonna be able to find you if you’re lying in your bed with Nicholas Sparks.

Stay strong, love yourself, know what you deserve and don’t settle for anything less!

Happy Monday Friends!