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love advice

love

New Relationships: 5 Things to Remember Going in

Trust Them

If you’ve been hurt before, it’ll be hard, but until they give you a reason not to, have a little faith in them. Believe in your instincts. If you fell for them in the first place, they must have good in them. Give them a chance to show it.

Let Them In

All the way. Let down your walls. Put down the weapons and surrender. Be vulnerable. Let them love you. Let them make you believe in what you have. True love sees the beauty in your perfections and your flaws, but they won’t be able to see them if you keep them at arms length.

Be Yourself

Not who you think they want you to be. You should never have to be anything other than who you are for anyone. If they don’t accept you, all of you, then you need to let them go.

Don’t Compare Them To Others

Your other relationships ended for a reason. You just weren’t compatible. Sure, there are things you might miss, but in the end, who they were wasn’t right for you. So if your new guy/girl doesn’t do things quite like the last, it’s okay.

There’s probably lots of other things they will do that the others didn’t. Things that will make you smile. Things that will make you happy. So let them be the person you fell for. There was a reason for it.

Don’t Bring Up Past Mistakes

 It’s inevitable that somewhere along the line they’re going to make mistakes. So are you. If you forgive each other and move past it, let it go. It’s not to be used as ammo for later down the road.

They don’t need to keep paying for it over and over again. They served their time. They gave their apology and you accepted it. By doing that, that means it should stay where it belongs: in the past.

on sleeve

Advice to the Girl With Her Heart on Her Sleeve

Don’t ever stop…

It hurts. You always see the good in people. The potential. And sometimes they let you down. Believe in them anyway. Leave a space for them in your heart even when it’s time to move on because your belief in them is sometimes all the light they have.

It’s impossible to save the world, but don’t ever stop trying. Every day that you smile, you give and you love, you are making a difference. Believe that. Keep doing what you’re doing. Show people there are still good hearts left in this world.

It’s scary to fall after you’ve been broken. Don’t be afraid. Let your heart guide you. Take Chances. Even when you’re scared of how it might all turn out. Even though there is a possibility they may hurt you, love them anyway. Because that in between, those moments of happiness, the memories you will make, they will be worth it.

When somebody takes advantage of your kindness, forgive them. They don’t need to know you’ve forgiven them. You don’t have to tell them. It’s not for their benefit, but for yours. You don’t need that weight upon your shoulders. You don’t need to hold on to the past or let disappointment dim the beauty you have inside. Set yourself free.

And most of all… to the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, forgive yourself. You are gentle. You are loyal. You believe. You love. You hope. Sometimes it will pay off and sometimes it won’t. In those moments when it doesn’t, do not punish yourself. You are who you are for a reason. You are not weak, you are strong. Strong enough to see through the broken, through the damaged and the lost. Don’t ever change.

Just a little advice from one girl to another :)

xoxo, Courtney

 

broken

Until You’ve Been Broken

This weekend reminded me of what it was like to be young and innocent. It reminded me of butterflies, long goodbyes and laughing so hard your stomach hurts. But with those moments of happiness also comes the fear that is all too familiar. The fear of taking a leap of faith, putting yourself out there and having no idea how in the world how it’s going to end. Wanting to trust your heart when it’s telling you to let them in. To live in the moment and enjoy whatever it is that may come. And just when you can feel yourself begin to fall you remember the scars. The ones that still exist from a past better off forgotten. How do you take a heart that is still fragile and give it away in its most vulnerable form? It’s terrifying. Learning to once again give someone else the power to care for it, to nurture it, never being able to guarantee the outcome. It scares the hell out of me. It makes me want to turn and run and protect myself from it all.

I spent the last couple of nights trying to convince myself that it would be different this time around, but the truth is you’re never really gonna know.  No one can really promise you forever.  I mean sure they can say it, but how do they really know that 5 or 10 or even 20 years down the road they’ll still feel that way? They can’t guarantee it. No matter how hard they may want to try, there’s always a chance you’re going to get to hurt.  I’ve come to the conclusion that what you really have to decide isn’t whether or not that person is going to hurt you, but whether or not the person standing there in front of you is worth the risk. If the memories you’re creating are worth more than the “what ifs.” And the only thing you can hope for is that they feel the same way about you in that moment that you do them. That they too have stood in your shoes and know all too well the feeling of pain and heartache and are just as afraid, yet they are willing to take the same risk. To stop living life and approaching love with one foot outside the door and like you, for first time in a long time jump with both feet all the way in.

Perhaps that is the reason our hearts are not made unbreakable.  Maybe it is only once you’ve felt that kind of pain do you truly understand how to care for another. That you accept love fully only after you’ve lost it and understand the courage it takes to be given again. Because perhaps you never really learn how to love until you’ve been broken.